Another Post From the House of Lunacy and Sneakery

Per my grandmother's request I bought Jaykeb a bible of his own for Christmas. I stood in the aisle and looked over all the choices and finally decided on one that also had cds with a song to go with each bible story. I thought I had really outdone myself since the two of them are singing together every morning. I brought it home and showed it to her and she approved so I wrapped it up and stuck it under the tree.

Christmas morning when The Boy opened his new fancy bible he looked at it and put it down to tear into the next gift...much as he did with every gift he opened that morning. I didn't notice at the time but this must have disturbed the gift giver, I don't know why...maybe because he didn't memorize it promptly. She had all kinds of questions like where was he going to play his cds...I named 5 different cd players he could use as well as my Ipod. She suggested we take it back, much like she does with any thing someone buys for her. I said no and thought we were done with that.

I placed the bible next to Grammy's chair so she could read to him in the mornings when they usually spend time together. A couple of days later Jayke was looking for his bible. My mom called me to ask where it was. This was all on New Year's Eve while I was trying to straighten the mop on my head while sweating from the heat and answering questions as to why it was taking me so long to get ready for this party. "What kind of party takes hours and hours to get ready for?" Lord help me...where is that bible when I need it?

I told them where I left the bible over and over and finally left for the evening, not thinking about the bible again.

Just this evening I was sitting at the table and Jayke brought me the bible. Grammy told me to write his name in it and started talking about writing every one's birthdays in it like she does her own. Yadda...yadda...yadd...WAIT! This isn't the bible I bought! Where are the cds? What is going on here? Normally she would try to use straight denial about this but I think she knew by the look on my face that she was caught. Not to mention she left the price tag on the back that was from a different store than where I bought my bible.

Now, since she doesn't drive I knew someone had to be in on this sneakery with her. I told Jayke to get his Oma on the phone for me. Everyone wants to try to deny their involvement in the bible switching. Turns out she got the lady who cleans for her to take her right out first thing and return that bible! They claim it was too old for him but I am pretty sure I know how to buy for my child and it was age appropriate. I figured I would just let this go since it did not appear I was going to get a straight answer from anyone and I know how once she starts obsessing about something it is no use. She once had to make a secret trip to the grocery store to retrieve the $2.59 senior citizen discount that I had forgotten to get while doing her shopping. She also made my mom rush right over to return the unused bottles of alcohol from my party...HEY! I would have used that eventually! She won't tell you what she is up to either...just calls someone else to come take her and you hear about it later.

Grammy is into teaching The Boy lessons too. This morning she was teaching him about obeying his mother. They must have had a long discussion about it after Jaykeb was scolded for being obstinate and telling me "NO!" I was upstairs when I heard him marching up, yelling back at her, "I'm going to go disobey my mudder!" Um, could he have that confused? I hope so!

The invitations for the party went out today. It was a VIP list...if you don't get one, I apologize...you just didn't make the cut. If you are male you had an even harder time making the cut! The Boy apparently wants to be surrounded by women at his party. I asked him to tell me who all he wanted to invite and he named two boys and 6 or 7 girls! Of course "Taylor with the long hair" was first on his list and got a big cheesy grin out of him. I think he is going to be goofy about girls his whole life.

I have to go now because The Boy's tummy "Hurts like an alien" and I have to take him to sit on the toilet now. Welcome to my slammin Friday night!