Out of the Mouths...

The Boy says funny stuff every day but here are few things he has said lately that cracked me up...

Jayke, talking to my mom on the phone...Well, my Mommy is all worked up about her minutes so I have to go!

Jaykeb walks into the living room the other night, Mommy, I have angina...I'm going to take a bath. I asked him if he even knew what angina was. He said yes, chest pain and kept on walking as if I were the biggest idiot on the planet for even asking!

A couple of days ago my mother called me to inform me that my son attempted to hire her as our "maid" for $50 a week. He had an entire list of things for her to do. Now I have two concerns about this...one is the fact that he thinks we need a "maid" and the other is that he is conducting business transactions without my knowledge. My mom can be concerned about what he thinks she is worth.

I glanced at my adorable son the other day and he replied, "What are YOU looking at you evil little elf?

Some Football Stuff

Thanks for the shirts, Oma!!

One day in Heaven….
Tom Brady died tragically one day. When he got to heaven st peter showed him his house, a good sized place with patriots flags and colors... then tom looked at another house that was an enormous mansion, had a blue garage, blue windows, a colts flag flying in the front yard, it looked like it had about 50 rooms. Tom was upset so he asked God, "God, i have won several championships, MVP's, lead my team to many 4th quarter comebacks, and I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but why is Peyton Mannings house so much bigger and better then mine? he hasn't even won a championship (yet)" God turned and looked at the house, turned back to Tom and said, "thats not Peytons house, thats mine."

Mike and I have had this ongoing argument since we got married! I've gotten up an looked though and he has had all the blanket many times! Now we use separate blankets...much better!

More Driving For Me

I understand the reasoning behind this, but I don't know if it makes me feel any better about it.

Found Here

If only...

....this will be Jayke soon...now if I could only get a "sleep in your own bed" patch and a "no more diapers" patch.

Typical...

This is so Mike!

Hhmmm...

A Cat's Revenge

This cracked me up because I can so see this happening at my dad's house with the way his cats have been terrorizing the poor chihuahuas. It also reminded me of the time my friends and I put slime on top of the fan blades and turned that sucker on high. Thank GOD we weren't at my MOM's house when we decided to try this stunt. I probably wouldn't be here to write about it if we had. I'm sure you can imagine what that house looked like after the fan hit full speed. My friend whose house we did this at had a shetland and we spent the next hour picking slime out of that poor thing's massive coat. Great times!

My Kind of Cookin!

Gracie Allen's Classic Recipe for Roast Beef

1 large Roast of beef

1 small Roast of beef

Take the two roasts and put them in the oven. When the little one burns, the big one is done.

Haven't Heard this Yet...

....but I'm sure it's coming.

Reminds me of someone...

Today, it's a Whole New World...

Click on cartoon to enlarge.

Post Christmas Piggy

Mike's poor piggy bank after Christmas~

Love It!

I'm sure I will make half of my family mad with this post but I couldn't resist! Found it on one of my favorite blogs http://weighing-in-without-the-cookies.blogspot.com/

Yankee Rant

With the arrival of the winter months upon us the wonderfully helpful news stations have begun prepping us southerners for the impending doom of forty degree weather and a possible dusting of snow. ( This is my second winter here and I have yet to see a flake but that could be because I don't get up early enough in the morning.) The weather forecasters continually remind us folks that we need to shut off our spinkler systems, leave the cabinet doors open over night so pipes won't freeze, and make sure our outside animals have a shelter so they won't be dogcycles in the morning. ( I looked outside and my dogs are on lounge chairs with sunglasses on.) I think it should be a requirement for all southerners to have to spend one winter north of I70. In doing so they would learn to do these things on their own so the evening newscasts won't be filled with stories of people wrecking their cars on black ice caused by the sprinkler system left on. I read a story somewhere that a guy always orders pizza when it snows because the local pizza delivery guy tells him to come get it and he can have all the pizzas they have because they aren't going out in this s**t! I need to find that pizza joint! I don't think I need to find it anytime soon though, it was 67 degrees today. I was skimming blogs this afternoon and came across one written by someone who lives in SC. He had the same musings regarding the news and left the following advice for us cold-weather challenged southern folk.

*Stay calm.

*If you are driving over a patch of ice, slam on your brakes to make your car stop moving.

*Don’t cry because your tears will freeze your eyelids shut.

*Maintain at least one working helicopter and a snow-mobile in case road conditions become absolutely impossible to navigate.

*A Saint Bernard's time is very precious and should not be spent responding to hoaxes.

*Set aside space in your basement to store fallen family members in case you have to eat them to survive... like in that movie “Alive

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Meow!