How Big Am I Mommy?

Today is my baby's birthday! He turns four years old today!

 

It's hard to believe four years ago I brought this tiny little guy home from the hospital. Okay, 9lbs 10oz is not all that tiny but he seemed like the littlest thing in the world to me. After 27 hours of labor and an emergency C section they held my little guy up and we just stared at each other. He was probably wondering the same thing I was, "Will she know what to do?"

I wouldn't find out for several more hours and not entirely for a couple more days. They handed him to his father and let him take him to meet all his grandparents anxiously awaiting his arrival in the waiting room. I had to remain in the or for another hour and recovery for several more after that. I finally got to meet my son and hold him in my arms in the NICU about 3 or 4 hours after delivering him. I was afraid I'd rip the wires and tubes out so I couldn't hold him comfortably. That continued for the next couple of days. I didn't even feel like I was his mother until the night before I was to leave the hospital. They brought him to me and we were on our own together.



I spent the entire night staring at him in his bassinet and holding him in my bed. I can still remember the contended little sound he would make after taking his bottle. That little sigh would make the hair on my arms stand up and chills run down my spine. I was in love. I didn't think I could love any more than that but I find myself falling in love with him over and over again everyday with each thing he learns and every funny thing he does.



Four whole years and it seems like only yesterday we spent our first night at home as a family...all sleeping in the living room for some reason. I listened to the lullaby cd that I played on repeat throughout the house for the first year of his life the other day. It made me sad that my little baby wasn't a baby anymore but also excited about all the things to come in his life. He is growing up fast now and I want to hold onto every single memory and cherish every moment with my precious son. He has been a blessing to me and I thank God everyday for giving him to me.




Happy birthday big boy! Mommy loves you!