How Do They Manage?

Today we will be talking about blindness. Blindness in the male species in particular. I know you know what I'm talking about if you live with or know a man. They can't find anything! I'm calling it blindness, it may be another affliction but I'm not gonna go there today. Today I'm going to assume they have some kind of defect in their eyeballs causing them to NOT be able to see the car keys that are laying right in front of them. To NOT be able to find their glasses which have not moved since the owner put them in their current resting place. To NOT see their wife and child sitting in a running car in the very next parking space when they pull into the mall parking lot.

You got it folks. He parked right next to me in the mall parking lot today. Got out of his car, walked behind my running car with the kid screaming at him, and walked unknowingly straight into the mall. He was even meeting me there so you would think he would have noticed us sitting right next to him. I didn't even realize what was going on. I was talking on the phone to my dad waiting for Mike to get Jayke out of the backseat. I kept hearing Jaykeb say, "I'm watching Daddy! I'm watching Daddy!" Finally I decided to turn around and see what the heck he was watching him do. Um...he was watching him walk into the mall without us.

When we got into the mall a few minutes later he was nowhere to be found. We waited and waited and finally I called him to see where he was. Here is the conversation:

Me: Helloooo!
Him: Helloooo! (mocking me)
Me: Um, where are you?
Him: In the mall.
Me: No Sh*t! (sorry, it was called for)We watched you walk in after you parked right next to us!
Him: I did? Laughter follows. The kind where you can really tell he had no clue we were there.

Never did find out what he was doing in the mall. Maybe he was scoping out a present for me for being so understanding of his issues.

I was so hoping my son would not inherit this optical defect but I'm afraid he has. I think he may even be worse. Things can actually be laying at his feet and he will be looking everywhere but at the item he is looking for. How? I just don't understand it. I know where all my stuff is AND everyone else's stuff. I know my poor friend has to literally find everything of her husbands and hand it to him as he is going out the door to work every night. What would these poor helpless men do without us?

It also amuses me how their "misplaced" items always seem to turn up right where THEY left them. I know it isn't just my man too because I've watched my dad accuse my sister of taking his lighter only to find it in his own shirt pocket later. The one he was wearing no less! My step dad, same way. My grandfather, same way. No one gets off easy tonight...they are all blind! I know yours is too!